HOW DO I LIKE MYSELF MORE?
Im in my late thirties and I’ve never asked myself this question UNTIL NOW!
It has always been ’How can I get them to like me?’ ‘How can I fit in?’ ‘What can I do to be more approachable/agreeable/attractive for THEM?’
Recently I’ve had a very vulnerable conversation about what commitment means to me and it happened to be with someone that I’d always had a soft spot for and would actually consider committing to. (Coming from a commitment phobe THIS IS BIG ) What I learnt from spilling my heart out with no questions asked IS THIS…….
No matter what the other person wants or requires does not matter! What matters is YOU, your wants, your needs because this is YOUR LIFE.. we are (dare I say it) programmed to ’toe the line’ and fit in with everyone else but does that make us happy? The people that GENUINELY love us want us to be happy.. why are we trying to change our wants and desires to fit in with what we are ‘supposed’ to want?
Instead of asking ‘How can I be more likeable?’ or ‘How can I be more attractive’? We SHOULD ask ‘HOW CAN I LIKE MYSELF MORE?’
For example, is going to the gym to look a certain way to please others going to make you feel good? Or would going to the gym to like yourself more be a better incentive?
Would choosing foods that fit in with others criteria such as being vegan or low carb or any of the other diets make YOU FEEL GOOD ? or is it to please others?
Would being a ‘secret lover’ be acceptable to you, where you hide your relationship from others as a lifestyle choice- where you can be private and not hurt others feelings be ok? OR do you want to shout it from the rooftops? Which would be a better fit for you?
Would going down the ‘traditional‘ route of marriage and the security that brings be the ideal lifestyle choice OR does having a ‘team mate’ where you make the same choice over and over again to be with them resonate for you more?
Is having children an experience you crave or not?
Do you like the regular pay check of being employed and the comfort that brings suit you or does owning your own business who makes all the decisions appeal?
There are no correct answers..
ITS ALL ABOUT YOU!
What do you want from this life?
The only person you should look to approval is yourself, reflect on what it is that will help you like yourself!! DO THAT!!.. For you, not anybody else.. because it’s you that had to live with yourself 24/7..
And in regards to the guy I was talking to about my feelings- the relief I felt from actually confessing to him my love for him was IMMENSE! Even though he didn’t feel the same I was true to my heart, my feelings and I know that if he wasn’t ready to fit in with that it was going to be okay.. because I LIKE MYSELF for being true to ME and I can live with that!
BE TRUE TO YOU !
What can you incorporate in your life that can help you like yourself more ?